Excerpt from ‘Something Missing’ by Hazel Robinson

Today, we have an excerpt from Hazel Robinson’s upcoming novel, Something Missing. If you haven’t already read the interview that I did earlier with Hazel, then go and have a read now.

Note from the author: the following excerpt is unedited and subject to change.

Max paused for a moment. “ What do you want me to say Susan. That it broke my heart when you left me standing at the beech waiting for you or that I thought you where a Coward for leaving me a letter. Do you want me to tell you how it ripped me to pieces to find out you had gone missing and that I couldn’t think straight till I found you I thought I had lost you for good.” Max stood pacing the floor.

“Yes Max I need to know these things, I want to hear them… you know I’m not perfect but you treat me like I am, I need you to tell me how much it hurt, because everything you felt I felt to. I told you everything I went through now I need you to tell me”

“That’s the thing Susan it didn’t hurt, I didn’t feel the pain because when your not around I cant feel anything. The thought of you not in my life numbs me, you broke my heart leaving me but I didn’t feel a thing until I  was holding you in my arms again.”

His stood at the window with his back to her. “ I thought everything was going great with us.. ye we were moving fast but I thought it was what we both wanted. You want me to be honest but you kept your biggest fear from me the whole time we were together and then you just up and left me.”

Susan stood up behind him wrapping herself around him. “No carry on, I need to know what you felt, I need to know what I put you through its time I stopped be selfish.”

Max dropped his head in shame. “Your not selfish, I am, I you  rushed into something your were`nt ready for. I pushed and pushed until it was too late, I pushed you into another mans arms.”

Susan walked round to face him and grabbed his hand, placing on her belly. “ You didn’t rush me Max I needed you then, I still do. When I left I realised that it was me that had messed everything up,  I ruined someone else’s life, I couldn’t believe I had done that to you.. I thought you would hate me for what I did so that’s why I headed to the bar that night and Dean meant nothing to me all I could think about was you.”

Starring deep into her eyes Max pressed his forehead to hers. “ That’s what makes it worse, the thought that you could have gone out and done it and it meant nothing, the thought that you could be so thoughtless to everyone around you. That’s what hurts the most.. you can go out a sleep with another man…”

Shock washed over her face, what had she done? Max had kept all his feeling bottled up about everything that had gone on. “Max I’m so sorry i..i.. don’t know what to say to put it all right.. please tell me what to do.”